he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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