Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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