Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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