Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
