I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
