i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
