found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize