I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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