Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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