i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
