Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
My balls are so social today.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Randomize
