it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
