I wannas sexs uuuuu
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
