WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
