fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
