we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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