Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
