i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
