Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
