ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
3 2 1 whiskey
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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