There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
