i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
