Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
