Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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