I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I don't think brook has ever known best
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
