What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
