How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize