i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
