Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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