Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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