you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
