Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
whose ass print is on the piano?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
