Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
