we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
We left an ass print on the piano.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
