Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
