dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
