I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize