you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I have tasted many bathrooms
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
