Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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