I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Did I show you my penis last night?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
