she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
