someone owes me an orgasm
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
