stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
