Someone shit on the floor
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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