he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize