Nicole vs. Life
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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