glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
