i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
