Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
