I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Randomize
