yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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