Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
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