the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
