Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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