I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
