i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
