Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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