Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
